Poker is fun...

I have traditionally not fared well at online poker. I am a much, much better live player. I use Poker Tracker and also PA Hud as well for stats and overlay, but I still am not anywhere near as good as I want to be. I really think there are people that were meant to play live and those, online. Felix, apparently, is the former. So about 6 weeks ago, I swore off online poker until I could get someone to sweat me for a few sessions and see if maybe I have some leaks, online, that I just can't find.

That was until the big tourney win. Then I figured, ahhh what the hell, $400 and I vow to not play NL nor anything higher than 2/4 limit. Just work on my game and grind it out, which, I truly enjoy. So I deposit $400 into one of my online poker accounts, Monday.

Well, the first day, I book a $35 win 3-tabling, which seems to be the most I can play comfortably and play my "A" game. Or what I think is my "A" game. I read that there are those that 8-table and some more than that! That really astounds me. I mean, come on, I'm part of the videogame generation and I can't fathom that. I know it's happening, but it still blows me away. Anyway, over the next 3 days, I just CRUSH the game to the tune of 165BB's. For the math challenged, that's $660 at 2/4, in 4 days, in 2,100 hands. Or almost 8 BB/100 which is sick good. And completely unsustainable. But, needless to say, it did help with the confidence.

I had promised myself, that under no circumstances, would I move up above 2/4 until I hit $1,000 in the online 'roll. I did NOT expect it to only take 4 freaking days at 2/4. I mean, COME ON!?!

So, even though I hit my mark, I decided to stay at 2/4, because no matter how good my limit game is and how much better than the players I may feel that I am at that level, I know that to win that much, that quick, is a big chunk of variance. So I want more hands at 2/4 before I move. Felix can be smart on occasion ;)

I was playing a few tables of 2/4 and one of the low limit idiots starts running his mouth. Now, normally, I just ignore them and target them as a donkey and someone who wants to give their money to me. But for some reason, I wanted to goad him a little. And I tell him, "nh, superstar" when he shows down 86o in MP with a turned 6 which wins a meager pot. He took the bait. He starts mouthing off, talking all kinds of smack. The table starts "lol"ing him and it sends him off even more, talking about wanting to play anyone heads up for a $1k freezeout, yadda yadda. "Ok kiddo, you're on!", I say. He asks what stakes. I tell him to choose. Then I say, "Wait a minute...You probably don't have that much. How about $500, you might actually have that much." He starts calling me names. I ask him, "Why is it you low limit idiots are always talking shit and wanting to play huge limits (compared to what you're playing right now) heads up with people? Is your dick THAT small? *important to not that on this particular site, my icon is female* He then replies that I'm too chickshit to play and that I have no balls. "Newsflash, I'm female and you're right, I don't have balls." And with that, the entire erupts in laughter and that sends him right over the edge. He tells me I don't have that much money to play him *on and on he goes* So I bring $500 to the 2/4 table to try and goad him some more. It works. He does the same. I tell him, "Ok, Superstar, pick the table." He asks me what stakes. I tell him you choose. He says 15/30, I say fine and I find an empty table. I tell him the name and he sits with the $500. I sit with $500 and I ask him how I know he's not going to run away if he wins the first few hands? He tells me "freezeout", but I don't expect him to sit the whole time. I win the first hand, then 30 hands later, he is BUSTO!!! Here is what it looked like:

Mouthing off doesn't pay

Poker is fun. Cheers!

Thirty-One

Well, another year is in the books folks. The best way to describe how I feel...hmmmm...Imagine you're in a car, by yourself, with quite a drive in front of you, you're on a fairly deserted highway and it's pouring down rain. There's crap on the radio (XM if you're smart) and overall, you're not really thrilled having to drive thru all of it. Then, suddenly, one of your favorite songs comes on, the rain starts letting up, and off in the distance, you can see a break in the clouds and see a little bit of sunshine. Then it dawns on you...It's not all doom and gloom! You realize that it's gonna clear up, and in the end, you're gonna be just fine, clear sailing the rest of your trip. Yeah, that about sums it up.

I am very much NOT where I want to be, both literally and figuratively. Still hate my job, still hate my personal situation, still not 'where I wanna be' and it's so damn frustrating. I hate that 99% of the people I know, here in town, wouldn't miss me if I left tomorrow. I hate that I really don't have any real close friends. Hell, I haven't had any since I left the Marine Corps back in 2001. At the same time, I think it's by my own doing, in a sense that, I'm not where I want to be, therefore, I don't want to put down roots and make any attachments that I can't leave behind when I finally am able to get to my going place. But in the mean time, damn it's a lonely, cold place here, even with the temperature over 100 degrees outside. Yet, at the same time, I kinda welcome the solidarity. It's like an old friend that you don't have to say anything to, for this friend knows just what your thinking and feeling. But, on the other hand, there is a silver lining just around the corner. I can see it. But it frustrates me to no end that I can't reach it yet. Just a little while longer and I can, but my inner 3 year-old wants it and he wants it now, DAMN IT!!!

A whole lot has changed since last year when I started this voyage. More than I care to share with the world quite yet. There are a few things that have not though, and for those, I'm very grateful. I still plan on stepping out on my own, trying to make it playing cards for a living. Unfortunately, it's had to be pushed back, obviously, cause May done come and gone and here I am, still at the ole 9-5, so-to-speak. But, there have been some good things that have come of it. While I'm not going to get into my personal details right now, from a poker standpoint, my game has never been better than it is now. And it's ever improving, getting to a point that I feel comfortable in any setting, at limits that I didn't expect to be comfortable at, this soon. (could I have a worse run-on sentence, sheesh)

Since we last spoke, essentially, January, I have won two live tournaments, one being the biggest single score, thus far. $7,365 win. That felt gooooooooooood! That was the NM State Poker Championship. Still holding out hope it'll make its way into PokerPages and/or Cardplayer. Hey, I'll take it...You would too! ;)

One other thing that has changed about my goals and future plans is that I have decided to start dealing poker after I leave my current career. While some may scoff at the notion of becoming a "lowly dealer", I don't think there has ever been a profession better suited to me. First off, notice the difference in terms I used. My current job, or career is just that. It's my work that I do in return for an amount of money. Whereas, a profession is a calling requiring specialized knowledge and often long and intensive preparation. To become a [I]professional[/I] in your desired path. Subtle, but significant. IMO, there are two different ways to think of one's chosen path: job or profession. I want to be the best dealer I can be. Again, scoff as you may, I really think I would be happiest dealing cards. And you know what? I'm really ok with that. Oh, and the pay is pretty solid as well. To each their own, and if it makes me happy and I don't dread going to work on a daily basis, that, folks, is worth more than money. It's worth a whole lot more. Even so, it's still a means to an end. I don't plan on dealing forever. Just long enough to get me comfortable to where I can take the plunge. I think it's a great way to ease into it as well.

So, without setting any hard and fast deadlines, I don't plan on being where I am right now, writing in here, this time next year. Moving on and moving up.


To sum it up, a song really come to mind: "Babygirl" by Sugarland.


"I know that I'm on my way.
Well, I can tell every time I play.
An' I know it's worth all the dues I pay,
When I can write to you and say:

"Dear Mom and Dad,
"I'll send money. I'm so rich that it ain't funny.
"Well it oughtta be more than enough to get you through.
"Please don't worry 'cause I'm all right,
"See, I'm stayin' here at the Ritz tonight
"Whaddya know, we made our dreams come true."

I miss you very very much, Mom. I know you'd understand. I love you.

New Mexico has a State Poker Championship?

For only a $100 buy-in? Who knew? Well, I didn't until Memorial Weekend, when I took a 5-day trip to try and really get my bankroll healthy. When I got to Sandia, I saw this 2.5 foot trophy and knew they were having some kinda tournament. The '2006 New Mexico State Poker Championship' was at stake. Hmmmm.

So after about 7 hours on Memorial Day, I ended up being the last man standing and won the trophy and all the money that went with it. I now have entered a total of 7 live tournaments in my life. I've won 2, final tabled 5 and crashed and burned in 2. And to think, I really don't like tourneys.


Who knew, eh?